i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
