she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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