White coat. Heels.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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