You really coming over, don't trick.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
