Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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