I'm so fucking centered right now
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
