Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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