I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
