You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
