That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
