Don't you send me to vm
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
