This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!