Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

Call me when you're up

(619): View more from California

Great dream, you were in it

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(619): Call me when you're up (619): Great dream, you were in it http://tfl.nu/09kg

Replies (2) Good night (1825) Bad night (703)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.

(1-501): View more from Arkansas

bonus

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(501): So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked. (1-501): bonus http://tfl.nu/029j

Replies (20) Good night (4264) Bad night (574)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him

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(856): Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him http://tfl.nu/33vk

Replies (18) Good night (933) Bad night (5427)
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(334): View more from Alabama

she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.

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(334): she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/rmvr

Replies (39) Good night (1500) Bad night (5657)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.

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(720): Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it. http://tfl.nu/chvq

Replies (7) Good night (6217) Bad night (928)
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(928): View more from Arizona

Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.

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(928): Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night. http://tfl.nu/fjny

Replies (10) Good night (1155) Bad night (2922)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering

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(610): They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering http://tfl.nu/lidm

Replies (9) Good night (3417) Bad night (1012)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty

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(217): Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty http://tfl.nu/906v

Replies (10) Good night (2188) Bad night (651)
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(377): View more from

I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"

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(377): I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick" http://tfl.nu/h7rr

Replies (9) Good night (2383) Bad night (868)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.

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(603): playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on. http://tfl.nu/nhak

Replies (8) Good night (1586) Bad night (687)
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(209): View more from California

We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.

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(209): We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela. http://tfl.nu/h3z9

Replies (3) Good night (892) Bad night (394)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You may now shotgun with the bride

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(610): You may now shotgun with the bride http://tfl.nu/3bw7

Replies (2) Good night (912) Bad night (373)
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(419): View more from Ohio

Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.

(206): View more from Washington

That would've been embarrassing.

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(419): Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night. (206): That would've been embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/nb0e

Replies (7) Good night (1206) Bad night (467)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.

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(717): THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES. (610): HOLY SHIT. You're my hero. http://tfl.nu/mhwg

Replies (0) Good night (741) Bad night (252)
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(623): View more from Arizona

It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.

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(623): It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity. http://tfl.nu/ppeb

Replies (2) Good night (764) Bad night (235)

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