so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.