i can juggle bunnies
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.