I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
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I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
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Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.