he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
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Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
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By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body