Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Don't make out with my wife yet

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  (205): Don't make out with my wife yet http://tfl.nu/oypy
  Replies (3) Good night (1061) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.

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  (403): I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go. http://tfl.nu/eq2k
  Replies (38) Good night (5362) Bad night (1210)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.

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  (732): You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name. http://tfl.nu/cvf5
  Replies (18) Good night (6657) Bad night (1308)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  she used her one phone call to ask me about my day

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  (712): she used her one phone call to ask me about my day http://tfl.nu/55gn
  Replies (19) Good night (5064) Bad night (1323)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.

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  (913): Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move. http://tfl.nu/e9ea
  Replies (6) Good night (4914) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.

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  (559): Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on. http://tfl.nu/nei9
  Replies (7) Good night (1086) Bad night (1643)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.

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  (573): Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos. http://tfl.nu/hx66
  Replies (18) Good night (2702) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I need to hump something and I know u understand.

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  (843): I need to hump something and I know u understand. http://tfl.nu/eg48
  Replies (3) Good night (1277) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.

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  (501): My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone. http://tfl.nu/7x1i
  Replies (6) Good night (1809) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.

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  (615): Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob. http://tfl.nu/pm20
  Replies (18) Good night (2158) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.

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  (281): My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club. http://tfl.nu/vm7c
  Replies (3) Good night (743) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.

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  (317): btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets. http://tfl.nu/leo3
  Replies (1) Good night (682) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.

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  (231): It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex. http://tfl.nu/riag
  Replies (1) Good night (608) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Did you leave ur panties in the sink?

  (214): View more from Texas

  Kitchen or bathroom?

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  (940): Did you leave ur panties in the sink? (214): Kitchen or bathroom? http://tfl.nu/vwsu
  Replies (0) Good night (731) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup

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  (860): Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup http://tfl.nu/9il1
  Replies (0) Good night (470) Bad night (195)

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