Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Randomize
