I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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