Yo dont text me then not text me
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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