There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
