glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
one two three fourrrrnication!
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
