You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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