yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
