please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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