shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
accomplished twins. life is a go
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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