remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
