so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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