your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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