We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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