just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Dick very happy bro
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
