Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
