he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?