Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.