I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.