He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito