But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
