he was CRYING into my vagina
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
