just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
