An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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