a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
