i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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