So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize