saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
