I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
