Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
