well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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