Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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