Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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