Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
