i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
