You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
this hospital has no fireball
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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