He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
