69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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