Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
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I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
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He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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