We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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