I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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