hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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