the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My pussy is not your playground.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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