Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
