you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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