Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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