just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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