at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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