so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
