Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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