Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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