Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
