The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
