Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
