Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
