And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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