How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Randomize
