So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
