he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize